Beliefs are emotionally derived unconscious programming.
They are created from positive or negative feedback received from an influencer – someone you respect, admire or love.
“Tom’s a great tennis player”, Tom’s no good at math”, “Tom is clumsy”, “If Tom’s head wasn’t attached to his neck he’d forget it somewhere”.
That last line was spoken to me by a loved one when I was just nine years old.
I remember where it was said, when it was said and how it made me feel – stupid.
It immediately became a limiting belief because of the powerful negative emotion I felt at the time I received that feedback.
Once I accepted that belief, it triggered all sorts of bad habits.
I stopped doing homework, paying attention and participating in class.
Why do homework, pay attention or participate in school? I’m too stupid to get an A.
My new limiting belief caused me to hate school.
School only reminded me of my belief – that I was stupid.
As a result of accepting this new limiting belief, I adopted habits that caused me to struggle academically for many years.
But the amazing thing about beliefs is that they can be changed overnight.
Ms. Somers was my very, very hot 8th grade science teacher.
Early into the 8th grade, I was, surprise, failing science.
After failing another test, Ms. Somers asked me to stay after class.
She wanted to speak to me.
Unfortunately, staying after class had become, for me, a regular occurrence.
I just assumed I was going to get another lecture about not working hard, being an underachiever, etc.
Instead, Ms. Somers told me that she believed I was actually very smart and that my problem was that I didn’t believe in myself.
She told me she believed in me and went a step further saying that she believed, if I studied hard enough, I would get the highest grade in the class on the next test.
I remember going home on the bus that day and all I was thinking about was studying for my science test, which was three days away.
I studied every night for three days for that damn test.
I never studied so hard.
I still remember those three days like it was yesterday because of what happened next.
When Ms. Somers handed me my test results, in big black numbers was “99”.
I had received the second highest grade in the class, a 99.
Ms. Summers then called me to the front of the class and spent, what seemed like an hour, telling everybody in my class how smart I was.
The emotion, the elation that I felt in not only getting the second highest score, but in how Ms. Somers made me feel, is still with me 45 years latter.
I felt smart.
Ms. Somers was able to shatter my limiting belief because of the strong emotions I felt after doing so well on the test.
Ms. Somers caused that emotion by making such a fuss with me in front of the entire class.
One person’s words changed my life forever because it created new emotionally-driven belief that I was, in fact, smart.
And it all happened in the course of just three days.
I went on to become a solid B+/A- student the rest of my 8th grade and into high school and college.
I was even able to pass the CPA exam, get a Master’s degree in taxation, and passed the Certified Financial Planning test, a ten hour exam, on the first try.
The new belief, that I was smart, changed my study habits for the rest of my life.
It’s critical that you surround yourself with Rich Relationships – individuals who are can-do types, upbeat, optimistic, open-minded and positive.
These Cheerleaders lift you up and encourage you to be the best person you can possibly be.
It’s equally critical that you minimize interaction with Toxic Relationships – individuals who are toxic, negative, pessimistic, closed-minded and whose lives are filled with never ending drama.
These Booleaders will drag you down and discourage you.
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