10 things to stop doing so you are happier in 2021

With a new year upon us – let’s make 2021 the best year ever.

Sometimes the route to happiness depends more on what you don’t do.

Happiness–in your property investments, business life and your personal life–is often a matter of subtraction, not addition according to an article on Inc.com

The author Jeff Haden asks you to consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:

1. Blaming

People make mistakes.

Employees don’t meet your expectations. hate-1216881_1280

Vendors don’t deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems.

But you’re also to blame.

Maybe you didn’t provide enough training.

Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer.

Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering–because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments.

Those are all “things.” People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

3. Clinging 

When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.

An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

4. Interrupting

Interrupting isn’t just rude.

When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”

Want people to like you?

Listen to what they say.

Focus on what they say.

Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.

They’ll love you for it–and you’ll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining 

Your words have power, especially over you. 17072667_l

Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining.

Put that effort into making the situation better.

Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that.

So why waste time?

Fix it now.

Don’t talk about what’s wrong.

Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on.

Friends don’t let friends whine–friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Controlling

Yeah, you’re the boss. business meeting executive boss stress work tough manager employment board company

Yeah, you’re the titan of industry.

Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you.

If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure–none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you’re going.

They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing

Yeah, you’re more educated. boss

Yeah, you’re more experienced.

Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else–including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different.

Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people–and yourself–in a better light.

8. Preaching

Criticizing has a brother.

His name is Preaching.

They share the same father: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything–and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen.

Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

9. Dwelling

The past is valuable. lesson life motivation inspiration

Learn from your mistakes.

Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done?

It depends on your focus.

When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know.

When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you.

Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

10. Fearing

We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. fear lesson brave inspire motivation strong chalkboard

So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

Don’t let your fears hold you back.

Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.

If you want to start a business, take the first step.

If you want to change careers, take the first step.

If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.

Put your fears aside and get started. inspiration success hard wrok

Do something.

Do anything.

Otherwise, today is gone.

Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own–and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.


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Michael is a director of Metropole Property Strategists who help their clients grow, protect and pass on their wealth through independent, unbiased property advice and advocacy. He's once again been voted Australia's leading property investment adviser and one of Australia's 50 most influential Thought Leaders. His opinions are regularly featured in the media. Visit Metropole.com.au

'10 things to stop doing so you are happier in 2021' have 11 comments


    January 3, 2015 Liz Cotton

    Thank you Micheal, It’s refreshing to find a successful individual expressing the importance of respect and non-judgement. If we all acted upon these what a better world it would be. Regards Liz


      Michael Yardney

      January 3, 2015 Michael Yardney

      Thanks for the kind words Liz
      Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year



    January 1, 2015 Casey Simmons

    Love this article Michael. Thank you for sharing. I really admire your philosophy, and your desire to help people has clearly made you very successful. You are definitely helping me, and I strive to one day follow in your successes.


      Michael Yardney

      January 1, 2015 Michael Yardney

      Thanks for the kind words Casey
      Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year



    January 6, 2014 Zaky

    Great article! Very deep and well said! It Has true meaning! Thanks M!




    January 1, 2014 George

    Happy New Year Michael. Thanks for the article, very inspiring.
    Just wondering whether it is a good idea to buy a block of units on one title then strata title them and sell for profit or perhaps sell off some and keep some. Or perhaps buy a unit block that have been strata titled.

    Thanks for your time.


      Michael Yardney

      January 1, 2014 Michael Yardney

      While the idea sounds good in principle, it doesn’t tend to work that way in reality. Usually because well located established blocks of apartments so rarely come on the market they are highly sought after by wealthy individuals who pay about the same as the retail price of the individual apartments in other words there is little discount for buying in bulk.
      And the stamp duty and tax would eat up any profit.
      However owning a complete block of apartments is a great investment. We’ve bought 5 this year for clients of Metropole



    January 2, 2013 Trent

    Hi Michael,
    Can you explain to me why say a 5 Bdr house in say Bonbeach (Vic) with much more land is worth less than say a 2 BDR apartment in Elsternwick with hardly any land?
    And do you think for long term capital growth the apartment in Elsternwick is a better investment?


      Michael Yardney

      January 2, 2013 Michael Yardney

      The simple answer is not all land is created equal. Just because there is more land doesn’t mean it will be worth more or increase in value more. There are millions of hectares of land in Australia that will always be worthless.
      Its all about how people want to live and where they want to live. Bonbeach is a nice suburb, but there is not the strong demand for properties than there is in Elsternwick.
      Interestingly I own a group of townhouses I built about 10 years ago in Bonbeach as well as properties in Elsternwick and the latter have far outperformed.
      Good luck with your invetsing



    January 1, 2013 Yvonne Kennedy

    Very deep meaningful words!
    Doesn’t matter how old you are or young you are, there is always room for improvement.
    I have printed off this daily blog as a reminder of my goals, strengths and weaknesses and to strive to become a better person, not only for myself, but for the entire Universe.
    The Way to a true and meaningful life!
    I am truly Grateful! 🙂
    Thank you!


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