Key takeaways
Financial secrecy is common: Over 1 in 4 Australians in relationships (27%) admit to hiding money matters from their partner.
Trust at stake: Experts warn that financial secrets can be just as damaging as emotional or physical betrayal, eroding trust and threatening relationships.
Not harmless: While some justify secret spending as minor, it can escalate into major financial risks, hidden debt, or even financial abuse.
Warning signs: If you feel scared to discuss money with your partner, it may signal deeper issues in either financial habits or the relationship.
Have you ever wondered what really goes on behind closed doors when it comes to money in relationships?
We like to think love is built on trust, but for many Australians, finances are the last frontier of honesty.
A new survey has revealed a startling truth: more than one in four Aussies are hiding financial secrets from their partners.
And these aren’t just small fibs about buying an extra pair of shoes; we’re talking about hidden bank accounts, secret debts, gambling, and even large undisclosed withdrawals from joint funds.
A growing trend of financial secrecy
According to research by Finder, 27% of Australians in relationships admit to making covert money moves. That includes:
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10% secretly racking up debt on a credit card or personal loan.
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9% opening a bank account or credit card without telling their partner.
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9% gambling behind closed doors.
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8% helping out friends or family financially without disclosure.
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7% splurging on big-ticket items like cars or luxury goods.
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6% investing – or selling investments – without consultation.
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4% withdrawing large sums from a joint account without explanation.
These aren’t small matters. They reflect a deeper issue: a lack of financial transparency that can erode trust in even the strongest of relationships.
Why it matters more than money
Money may seem like a practical matter, but in reality, it’s emotional.
Sarah Megginson from Finder puts it bluntly: "keeping financial secrets can be just as damaging as an emotional or physical betrayal."
And. she’s right.
At its core, money secrecy isn’t about dollars and cents, it’s about trust, respect, and shared goals.
When one partner makes financial decisions in secret, they’re not just risking money, they’re undermining the future the couple is supposed to be building together.
And that future can unravel quickly if hidden debts, gambling losses, or secret loans come to light.
Some people might justify secretive spending as harmless: “I just wanted to buy something nice for myself,” or “It’s better they don’t know I’m helping my brother out.”
But those small secrets can spiral into something far more damaging.
In fact, secrecy around money is sometimes a symptom of financial abuse.
If you feel your partner controls your spending, or you’re afraid to discuss financial decisions with them, that’s a red flag that something deeper is wrong, with either the money habits or the relationship itself.
What you can do if you suspect financial infidelity
If alarm bells are ringing, don’t panic; but don’t ignore them either.
Here are some practical steps according to Sarah Megginson:
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Start with an honest conversation: avoid blame, focus on openness. For example: “I’ve been feeling uneasy about our finances. Let’s review things together so we can plan better for the future.”
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Review your shared financial records: check joint accounts, credit cards, and loans for unusual activity.
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Protect your own financial information: secure passwords, set up alerts, and monitor for suspicious activity.
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Get your credit report: check for unknown debts or accounts in your name.
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Seek professional advice: a financial counsellor can help clarify your rights and responsibilities.
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Prepare for independence if needed: even in a committed relationship, it’s wise to know where you stand financially and maintain a personal emergency fund.
Building financial trust
The bottom line? Love without trust can’t last, and financial trust is a huge part of that.
The couples who thrive financially and emotionally are the ones who regularly talk about money, set goals together, and are honest about both the wins and the mistakes.
If you’re hiding something from your partner, ask yourself why.
If you’re afraid to bring it up, that’s a sign the real problem isn’t the money, it’s the lack of openness.
And if you’re on the receiving end of financial secrecy, remember you’re not alone.
Help is available, and addressing it early could save both your finances and your relationship.
